I haven’t been able to write about this news on the blog yet because I have been too sad about it. Cookie, our Nigerian Dwarf goat died Sunday the 4th. She was pregnant and due to kid March 10th.

Cookie had been sick and refusing food and we had taken her to the vet to try to figure out her ailment. Through talking to two vets and searching and reading online, we determined she had pregnancy toxemia. She was off feed and would not eat and wanted to just lay around. We started making a liquid gruel and turkey basting it down her throat to keep her nourished. We started treating her for the toxemia with medication and had scheduled a c-section to safely deliver the kids since she would not have the strength to birth them naturally. I tried to get the appointment made for Friday the 2nd or Saturday the 3rd, but neither of the two vets we use were available that day. Both vets made appointments with me Monday the 5th and I planned to take the earliest appointment that morning.

So, we had to nurse her over the weekend and we continued her medications and her liquid diet as we had all week. Friday, she had more strength and was doing better than she had been previously. Saturday, she was up and walking and drinking from the water bucket which were definite improvements. We were thrilled that she was finally improving after a week of worry and I was confident everything would be ok after her c-section. She was going to make it!

Sunday morning before church on March 4th, Hannah brought Cookie her breakfast and found her body in the igloo doghouse, dead. We were all in total shock. I flipped her body over and noticed she was dilated and bulging from pushing. Apparently in the night, she went into labor and it was too much for her- just as I knew it would be. She died trying to deliver her kids, our first kids! If I had known she was in labor I would have taken her to the emergency clinic. I knew she did not have the strength to deliver naturally.

We all bawled off and on for days, and I am not normally a crier! Every time I thought of her or spoke about her, I couldn’t help it. She wasn’t just a goat to us, she wasn’t just livestock– she was our pet and we loved her. We got her at 2 days old and raised her on the bottle along with Snickers. We have waited almost 2 years to get our first kids from her and had just taken the goat nipples and bottles out an washed them in anticipation of her babies. I was doing everything humanly possible to save her and I was so encouraged by her improvement that I let down my guard. I didn’t think she would die. Now, I am full of regret and all the things I would have or could have done differently. My heart has been heavy with grief over that goat and sorry my kids had to find her and deal with the sadness of yet another loss not long after Millie lost her little puppy.

We debated all day Sunday what to do with Cookie’s body. Monday Jim stayed home from work so we could properly bury her. Nobody wanted to send her body to be incinerated and putting her body in a dump just did not seem right. So, Jim and William dug the hole. I went out and helped finish digging when they tired.

When the hole was dug, we all gathered around. Hannah got Snickers because she wanted her to come to the funeral too. Snickers knew Cookie was sick. We knew how sick Cookie was because of Snickers. Snickers stopped head-butting with Cookie and instead would lick her on top of her head and on the face trying to make her feel better. When Snickers ate, she dragged hay over to Cookie and dropped it on the ground in front of her to try to encourage her to eat too. Anytime Cookie would muster the strength to walk, Snickers walked side by side with her and let Cookie lean on her a little. They were very close companions and Snickers knew, probably long before us, that Cookie was ill. It was only fitting Snickers came to Cookie’s funeral too.

Jim brought Cookie over in the wheelbarrow, in a bag. He said to me, “Nicole should I bury her in the bag our should I take her out of the bag and just lay her on the dirt?”

Willy, our 6 year old, answered, “Dad, we should leave her in the bag because if Snickers sees Cookie, she might die of a broken heart like on Where the Red Fern Grows.” I think my heart cracked a little at that comment, but we all agreed. So we put Cookie in the hole in the bag. We all filled the hole in together.

Meanwhile Snickers ate bark, leaves, and anything else she could find in the woods while we buried her friend, apparently unaware of what was going on.

It wasn’t long and we were done. Cookie was buried and we were all glad we did not send her body away and that we buried here right here on our farm where she belongs.

Hannah noticed Snickers and her inattentiveness to anything but the tasty morsels she was finding. Hannah finally said with a little disgust, “I think Snickers just came to the funeral for the food.” (With kids, there is always comic relief)

Sadly, there will not be any baby goats this month. We are looking for a new friend for Snickers because she is lonely now, but nothing will replace Cookie, the goat Snickers grew up with.