The missing hamster was left unattended on a train table in his owner’s bedroom. The owner did not realize a 3 inch hamster would take a 2 foot leap, and survive. The hamster may be injured, but he’s likely uninjured and on the run. If you see him, or his droppings, please notify us immediately. The authorities are considering various ways of apprehending him including, but not limited to: mouse traps, poison and the use of a feline. The owner would prefer to see his hamster returned with his neck intact.

DESCRIPTION:
White fur
Black beady eyes
Long whiskers
Tiny pink ears
No known tattoos or piercings
Russian descent
May or may not come to the name “Burt”

BEWARE:
May bite, scratch, or otherwise fight for his freedom. He should be considered armed and dangerous. He may be looking for a warm hovel to hibernate.

The owner requests if you find him, please do not feed him food containing monosaccharides due to his increased risk of developing diabetes mellitus.

Well, I just got done with another weekend with Maxine. I can’t help but become more and more attached to her the more I help her out. She is just a crack up. She is opinionated, witty, sometimes abrasive, and she is definitely not afraid to tell you what she thinks. Her stories have me entertained all day and I always come home and tell them to my kids.

We were talking about children and childbirth and so on. Maxine said, “Giving birth is as close to death as you can get.” I have to totally agree with that. How come nobody bothered to tell me that when I had my kids? I guess in this society, that’s not the sort of thing you tell a newly expecting first time mother. However, I think it should be! I felt more than a little betrayed by all these wacko friends and family who tried to tell me childbirth was no big deal. Are they off their rockers? I had babies with and without epidurals, with and without drugs. I tried it every which way, but the end result was always the same. Having a baby hurts in more than a physical way. It’s like body and soul tearing in two. I think the truth about childbirth might be one of the biggest cover ups in life right next to the one where people don’t bother to tell new parents that as your kids get older, it doesn’t get easier, it gets HARDER.

That one’s a doozy for me too. It took me three kids to realize what all these seasoned parents know, but nobody bothers to tell. New unsuspecting parents walk around in a blissful ignorance that once their kid passes through this stage or that, THEN it will be easier. They think things like once the baby starts sleeping through the night, THEN life will get easier. Or, once this baby stops nursing, then I’ll be freed up. Or, sure once the kid is potty trained, then life will be a breeze. Or, how about, once this kid is in school, then I’ll be home-free. Once this kid is 12 and can stay home alone, won’t that be fantastic? Uhhhh…..no dummies…..once they pass that stage, the next one is guaranteed to be much worse. Trust me. That’s what new parents should be told. Why protect people from the truth?

Now don’t take it that I’m sorry I have kids or that people should not have kids. I’m not! See, even though I took three kids to figure some of this out, I still had my fourth, Thomas, and I’m signing up for one more. Well, I have had enough of the childbirth thing though. I’m buying the fifth one pre-assembled. Haha!

I guess the moral of this story is be honest with people. Childbirth is the worst thing you’ll ever do as a woman. As Maxine said, it feels like walking a line between life and death. Fortunately, the baby you get for your work is the best thing you’ll ever have. Raising children is the hardest and most tiresome thing you can ever imagine, it never ends, and every stage is harder than the one before. But, the things you work hardest for are the things worth having in life. So, see, there are consolation prizes already built in!

One more thing Maxine said regarding children was, “I wouldn’t give a nickel for one now, but I wouldn’t trade none of what I have in either.” She’s 89 years old. That’s pure honesty and I think probably many people her age feel the same way and there is nothing wrong with that. Maxine is 89 and her energy is spent. I’m 32 and think sometimes mine is over half spent already. I cannot imagine starting over. This is why grandparents need to be allowed to be grandparents and parents need to be parents to their own children–pure and simple.

I am currently working doing in home care for some elderly women in Lawrence. One lady, Maxine, is quite a character. She is a quirky bird, but she was quite a cook in her day. She has been sharing her cooking stories and recipes with me while we visit. She told me she robbed pigeon nests when she was only 6 years old and would dress and cook up squab for her and her siblings over a makeshift fire for a snack. I won’t ask her for her recipe for squab, but she asked me to make her a custard the other day and told me this recipe she knew by heart. I thought you might like to make it too. She eats it to soothe an upset stomach, she eats it for for breakfast, lunch and dinner. I have to agree it’s pretty good. I think I could eat it all day too.

6-7 eggs
a generous 1/2 cup sugar
4 cups milk
2 teaspoons vanilla
dash salt
dash nutmeg

Beat your eggs to death. You want them uniformly beaten, not with pieces of white and yolk floating about. I set mine in my mixer and let it go for awhile. Farm eggs with bright yellow yolks make a particularly rich custard. I tried it with pale store eggs at Maxine’s, then my free range eggs the next day. The difference was definitely noticeable.

Then, put in a rounded 1/2 cup of sugar. Add your milk, salt and vanilla and stir some more to incorporate. This is where good vanilla makes a big difference too. Don’t bother with imitation or really cheap vanilla. Most of the flavor from this comes from the vanilla.

Pour your mixture into a casserole dish or corning ware dish- or whatever pretty dish you have. Sprinkle the top with nutmeg. Maxine uses cinnamon sometimes too.

Set that down in another pan with 1-2 inches of water in it. Bake at 300 for about 2 hours. I really actually am only guessing how long- you can tell it’s done when it doesn’t jiggle as much AND a knife in the center comes out clean.

**Don’t overcook and don’t set your temperature too high. Also, don’t underbeat your eggs.

I like this custard best cold. So, I let it cool on a rack, then pop it in the fridge and serve it up cold. It’s good with berries or whipped cream, but Maxine and I just eat it plain.

I hope you enjoy it too.

Recently one night at about 11pm I heard a ruckus in the barn. Goliath was barking an “alert” bark. I looked out the window and saw all the goats and sheep outside the barn curiously looking in. I ran outside expecting to find a predator in the barn of some sort. When I finally got the light on, I found a little baby goat bleating up at me. Snickers had just given birth to a surprise kid for us! We didn’t even know she was expecting! Say hello to Therman!

We all get a kick out of how little goats only have teeth on the bottom. Here is Hannah fooling around with Whippy and showing off her dentures.

Here they ALL are joining in the fun. I can’t believe even Thomas made a “goat teeth” impression. HILARIOUS!

Sorry I’ve been so lame about posting! It’s not because nothing is going on. Things are never REALLY this quiet here you know. With fall around the bend and puppies on the way, (Sophie and Oscar in Oct! Maybe Amanda and Georgie in Oct. too!) I’m sure my website will get some attention soon. Here’s the latest:

Dandelion surprised us with a lovely doe kid a week ago. She’s all white with a little splash of cream on her. Hannah has named her “Whippy” (after whipped cream) much to the dislike of her brothers. They refer to her as “the goat Hannah calls Whippy.” She is darling and Hannah is so tempted to keep her! She is only our second doe kid. But, we don’t have an unrelated buck- so we’ll see.

All I have to say about this is, “Uhhhh…carrots anyone?”

You probably know by now that Willy is our crafty boy. He prefers making all manner of weaponry from what is known as trash to everyone else. He is not above digging through rubbish to find a treasure. The wonderful ladies at church bring him all sorts of “recyclables” for him to use in his endeavors. Well, last night Willy cut himself a nice slingshot frame with a saw. I didn’t think much of it because he has made literally dozens of non-working slingshots. Well, apparently after much trial and error, the inventor has his design down. This one really works. (the first projectile was a lego head) Since I knew his downfall before was always the elastic, I asked him what he used this time. Folks, he RIPPED THE ELASTIC FROM HIS OWN UNDERWEAR!!!!!!!! Although I am sure Willy would appreciate more elastic, church ladies, please do not rip the elastic from your own discarded underwear for him to use. I told his father what William did and what he made today and all he had to say about that was,
“The boy will never starve.”

While trying to take a picture of Willy, I was being pushed and shoved and pulled on the whole time because a certain little ham wanted HIS picture taken.